Wow. This month went by so fast; tomorrow is my last day here. I'm so ready to go back to Tokyo though. I've been ready to go back the whole time. Which isn't to say I didn't enjoy it here or have a bad time. Working at the schools here was such an amazing experience. I got to interact with some of the cutest and smartest kids I have ever met. I also got to experience what it would be like to work in a Japanese school. I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I did. And my host family here was so nice. They took me to so many places and did so much for me. We didn't get as close as I wanted to be though, and for some reason I never really felt completely like myself here. There were also times were it was really hard to communicate. Times were I wanted to converse, and I could tell they wanted to converse too, but it was a struggle to find something to talk about. Which could be incredibly exhausting. In the end I'm just exhausted I think.
I think part of it was just culture shock. Daito and Shimane in general is such a different place than Tokyo. My lifestyle here was completely different. In Tokyo I was used to having more control over what I did with my days. Here I had something planned almost every day. Today was the only day I didn't actually go somewhere with my host family or have work. I had wanted to explore the area by myself a bit, at least talk a walk by myself around the neighborhood. That never happened. I guess a part of me missed having time completely to myself. And I missed my Tokyo host family and my friends back in Tokyo or on other programs as well. I missed the city itself. I never expected to be Tokyo homesick, but I was. I fell in love with the city. The bustling crowd of people, the neon lights and neighborhoods, the high stimulation. It's going to be so hard to leave Tokyo in August.
I also got a bit homesick for my South Bend home. I had a lot of time to think here; almost too much time to think. And I eventually started thinking about home and my loved ones back in America. I especially thought a lot about last summer. I realized I will never have a summer like that again...
I also realized today that this will be the first time leaving somewhere I've lived for an extended period of time without the certain knowledge that I will one day come back. Which is a bit sad and scary. I may never see any of these people or these places again. I guess that's just life though.
Anyway, as I sort through this mess of feelings, in the end I'm so glad I came here. I'm so glad to be going back to Tokyo. And I'm so glad to be traveling to the Philippines and Korea with some great friends. I have been really lucky in my life so far and I am sincerely grateful. And I look forward to the rest of my time in Japan.
Hope everyone is health and happy.
:)
